The new rules internet dating playfair's st, find a copy in the library
If two people, married to each other agree to extra marital relations then this is just consenting adults doing what they think is the best for them. Hakim is not suggesting that this is how it should be, but that this is how it is, and it does not necessarily require a knee jerk response of disappointment, disbelief or disgust. Found it on sale secondhand and considered it a bargain. It may not be possible to remain with one person for life, but might it be possible to learn to navigate marital difficulties openly and honestly and if necessary, split up.
Equally, what about the suspicions that the betrayed spouse feels? If completely discreet and the spouse never finds out, might it be a perfectly acceptable behaviour? Does the English response to adultery need to reflect a more European stance?
In fact, these affairs can be considered to be a help to the marriage as long as they remain private and never intrude on the spouse. It seems to me that the betraying spouse is keeping all their options open at the expense of their spouse who has no control over what is happening because they have not been told the truth. Perhaps this is another piece of research? When confronted with these doubts does the unfaithful spouse just deny them.
Basically, she is suggesting, from the social research that she has undertaken, that the Internet is creating a whole new landscape for married people who wish to have extra marital relationships. There is no discussion about those affairs where there is no wealth to cushion the misery of being the other woman.
Rather than new rules, nto ultimate online dating perhaps what is required is simply a more laissez faire view of what being married means but both partners need to share the view. For individuals who seek this type of relationship the Internet may be changing the way we behave.